12 May 2000
Andes Candies Inc.
1400 E. Wisconsin
Delavan, WI 53115
Dear Sir or Madame,
I was quite disturbed today when I opened a box of your candy, which I have always found to be delicious, and of the highest quality. Upon unwrapping, however, I noticed that the packaging is padded in such a way as to make it appear that there is more candy in the box than is actually the case (see photo). While the outside dimensions are 3x6¼", the actual dimensions of the product itself are only 1 7/8x6¼". To put this in perspective, the padding is equal to the space of 16 of your delectable confections. This is quite a discrepancy, considering the box only holds 28, rather than the apparent 44, rich and creamy treats.
I'm sure you will defend your seemingly duplicitous act of packaging. You may point out that the number of pieces is clearly printed on the box. However, with no real frame of reference, the consumer must conclude that they are 28 pieces of chocolate that are 36% larger than they really are. And to be truthful, the average American is a slothful, half-assed, dull-witted boob, who just assumes that there is chocolate from end to end. Obviously, someone in your marketing department is counting on this, as cardboard is cheaper than chocolate, after all. I notice your small window of clear cellophane is placed solely over the tempting snacks, not the padding, seemingly to perpetuate the ruse, while hiding your shameful secret.
In conclusion, I can only say that my disappointment at your apparent greed
knows no bounds. How much is enough, you soulless corporate bastards? When I
open a box of candy, the last thing I expect is a kidney punch from a greedy
conglomerate. Can't you get by with one less platinum pinkie ring or gold-plated
Rolls Royce, and give the ignorant masses their 16 pieces of chocolate back?
I swear, this is worse than rape.
Losing the will to live because of corporate hucksters,
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